Jan. 25th, 2009

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The dog-sitting in North Las Vegas has been cool. It's taken me a couple of days to get the doggies playful again after their daddies flew to Mexico.

I've been driving back and forth doing stuff here but as anyone who truly knows me...knows, it's a friggin' chore. Being born an raised in Manhattan and not wanting to learn how to drive, when most kids did (in their late teens I guess). I was happy leaving the apartment walking somewhere, taking public transportation or a cab if it was a rush. When I was 30 and moved to SF, that's when I learned how to drive.

Four months ago, when my dad died, I took the crosstown bus to 1st Avenue. I then switched on first ave, to the uptown bus, that took me to Beth Israel Medical Center. I wanted to put my hand on my dad and talk to him for the last time. I was staying on the west side and he sooo promoted the transportation system. Siempre. When my brother and I were young, he would drop us off at the train with tokens.

First couple of nights here (Vegas) my sleep has been spotty and the dreams have been weird. Last night, I didn't close my eyes until 2:30 a.m. Earlier, I drove to the theater to see: The Reader (pretty darn good with some great performances), then I came back and walked the dogs and caught another flick on the boob tube...I was up until 2:30.

I finally hit the sack but tossed and turned. The dogs, as if sensing something, finally slept in my room (they stayed up front for a little bit waiting for their masters initially).

The dreaming was heavy. Well, the one dream that really sticks; is me wanting privacy in my room. I was a boy again, yet I was full grown (dreams don't have rules or borders) and I wanted to be left alone. It was cloudy IN my room but I can see my brother (full grown also but a child) and that's when I knew this was kind of a part 2 / sequel or could be recurring dream, 'cause the whole scene was in a previous dream.

My brother in the dream was hovering.My dad was there wanting to talk to me but he kept finding items in my room to check out, like he's never seen them before. He picked up an old softball trophy of mine and read the inscription on it, which for some reason made me feel strange. He went to my bureau and picked up the 911/Red Cross (time is all screwed in this dream) thank you certificate and started to read it out loud, translating the English to Spanish. I motioned my brother to get the hell out of the room as I was done with this, but he paid no mind.

My dad spoke to me without looking directly; "Tonito, quando...when is Geeem coming to dinner? When did you say?" This question was also strangely asked in a previous "Dad in my room dream." My answer was delivered in pure dream state honesty: " He said April, but I can check, I'll call tomorrow." As per the norm, I was thankful to Dream Tony, he seems to know all the answers. Rational, awake Tony doesn't know geem or Jim but what's in a name?

Even in a place without Fog, there can be fog. Dad's gone. I'm the oldest son. I have to make sure things are alright. That's one of my jobs. My dad had three or four jobs to keep us on school as we were growing up, it's the least I can do.

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